SO YOU THINK YOU'RE AHORROR MOVIE FAN?

You can recite "They're coming to get you, Barbara" in three different accents and STILL give yourself goosebumps

You've had a serious debate about whether the 1978 or 1982 version of The Thing is superior (and lost friends over it)

You know that shower scenes will NEVER be the same after 1960, and you blame Bernard Herrmann's violins as much as Hitchcock

You've genuinely considered the logistics of surviving in the Overlook Hotel and decided 'all work and no play' is actually solid productivity advice

You can explain the difference between Romero zombies and Boyle zombies, and you have OPINIONS about running vs. shambling

You've yelled at the screen "DON'T GO IN THERE" so many times that your neighbors think you're the one who needs exorcising

You know that Leatherface's fashion sense was actually quite sustainable and economical for the 1970s

You understand that the real horror in Rosemary's Baby isn't the devil - it's having terrible neighbors with boundary issues

You've done the Time Warp more times than you've checked your phone today

You know that Freddy Krueger is basically what happens when you give a serial killer a Netflix special and unlimited creative freedom

You can identify which Universal Monster is which by their walk alone, and you've ranked them by their tragic backstories

You've explained to multiple people that Alien is a horror movie that happens to be in space, not a sci-fi movie with scary parts

You know the phone number to recite when someone asks "What's your favorite scary movie?" and it's NOT 911

You've genuinely considered whether you could make it through seven days after watching that videotape

You know that the scariest thing about The Exorcist isn't the possession - it's realizing that was a 12-year-old doing those scenes

You've had an actual conversation about whether Hannibal Lecter's dinner party etiquette is impeccable or deeply problematic (it's both)

You know that Jason Voorhees didn't even show up until Part 2, and his mother was the original final boss

You've owned at least three different VHS copies of your favorite horror movie because you wore out the previous ones

You can quote Vincent Price's laugh and you've practiced it in the mirror (unsuccessfully, because nobody can replicate that magnificence)

You know that Carrie's prom night went slightly worse than your own, and you've calculated the gallons of blood needed for that bucket scene

You understand that the tall man's sphere is the most terrifying ball-based weapon in cinema history

You've debated the medical accuracy of Herbert West's re-animation techniques and concluded you don't care because it's awesome

You know that Basket Case isn't about Easter decorations, and Belial deserves more respect

You've tried to explain to normies that The Wicker Man is a folk horror masterpiece, not a Nicolas Cage meme

You appreciate that An American Werewolf in London proved that horror and comedy are best friends

You know that Tarman wants brains and you respect his single-minded dedication to his dietary needs

You've laughed maniacally at Evil Dead 2's slapstick horror and understand that Bruce Campbell's chin is a national treasure

You know that Pinhead has such sights to show you, and you're disturbed but intrigued